Goodbye to our little family of two.. (well, 4)

The past few days, ever since we got word I would be induced on Wednesday, all I can think about is how things will change.. I believe it was Thursday and I kept thinking, "this is the last Thursday without Canaan". Then the same thought on Friday and again today. We went to Target to get the few remaining things we really needed off the registry and Levi said "this is our last trip to Target before he gets here".

I believe I'm well aware of just how much things will change.. part of it scares me.. I mean, it's been just Levi and I for over 4 years now. Some families start out with babies or have one shortly after getting married or being together.. it's all they've known. Even though it's been my desire to have kids since I was one myself, I have to be honest in that while this is my greatest desire, it will still be a huge adjustment. I must say though that I am so thankful for the time we've had together before Canaan. I've always said I would have been thrilled if we had a "surprise" before now.. but I'm really starting to understand why God picked the timing he did. We had time to be newlyweds and have no idea what we were doing.. we had the time when we found an amazing church and really got involved at NLC, which allowed us the time to grow individually and together.. not to mention to meet some of the most amazing friends who became the example of parents we wanted to aspire to.. God's timing allowed us to finish college and get our careers started.. I can't imagine how hard this is with a baby in tow. I really admire those who do all of these things with a baby.. if I would have had my way it would have been like this for us too.. but God had a different plan.

One day, we will get to tell Canaan about life before him. How we spent 4 amazing years growing as a couple and when our hearts were so full we knew it was time to have another life to share it with. We'll get to tell him how we prayed for him... how so many people helped us pray for him.. how we prayed so hard for what seemed like forever.. and then the Lord saw fit to bless us with this experience. We'll tell him how it was so obvious the Lord had huge plans for him that the enemy tried so many times to break our spirit.. sounds like the perfect action story for a little boy!

What I'm most thankful for is how the Lord has used this time of waiting for Canaan to grow us... Our marriage will always come first and we have a plan when it comes to parenting. We realize the responsibility we have and the fact that we have to rely on the Lord to guide us. I truly believe God has huge plans for Canaan and I have to be spirit-filled in order to play my part.