We've got the power..

This is long.. if anyone really reads this.. sorry, but I do feel it's been placed on my heart for some time. 

I posted in an early blog about fear.. two most important points include:

1.             What you fear reveals what you value the most.

2.             What you fear reveals where you trust God the least.  

 I've always wanted to know everything there is to know about babies and being a mom. In high school I took Parenting and Child Development and Occupational Child Care. I volunteered at a daycare everyday and worked the summer there too. My dream was to open up my own daycare. I wanted to be a Child Care Specialist because I thought it meant I could tell people how to raise their children. My degree at UCA is in Family and Consumer Science and by far my favorite part is learning about babies. 

I've said all this to say.. I know a lot about babies.. I thought this would be an advantage but lately it's been the opposite. I know just about everything that could possibly go wrong in pregnancy and having children. Therefore, this has translated into real fear.. Obviously I have some reason to be fearful, given my last experience with pregnancy. But I believe God is using it for good.

Basically, I could choose one of two ways to look at this. I could choose to live in complete fear.. fall into the enemies plan to trap me with constant paralyzing fear and I could go throughout my entire pregnancy fearing every little thing that could possibly happen.. OR I could choose to trust the God who promises to give me the desires of my heart. He says those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy (Psalm 126:5). His word also says he doesn't give the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2Tim 1:7). 

A friend recently reminded me of my place with God. As Eph. 2:4-7 states we are "seated with Him in the heavenly realms". Luke 10:18-19 says "Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you." WOW. How could I not know this?? Oh yah.. the enemy has been lying to me.. making me think that he is between me and God interceding and bouncing off every blessing the Lord has for me.. when in reality he is BELOW me.. In a diagram, God is first, we are seated right below and Satan is even further below. 

Reminds me of the song "We've got the power"

WE'VE GOT THE POWER IN THE NAME OF JESUS

WE'VE GOT THE POWER IN HE NAME OF THE LORD

THO SATAN RAGES WE CANNOT BE DEFEATED

WE'VE GOT THE POWER IN THE NAME OF THE LORD

If we don't understand our spiritual heritage, we will not experience the freedom and the fruitfulness that are intrinsic to our position in Christ. We must know the authority that we have in Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit who indwells us. 

I still don't understand why things have happened the way they have.. but I choose to trust the one who knew me before I was even a thought to my parents. The one who knew this time and this baby were perfect for us now. He has the perfect plan and I'll choose to trust it. It won't always be easy.. and I'll definitely have to fight off the lies from the enemy. But I have the power in the name of Jesus. 

THE Last Mother's Day

This will be my last Mother's day without a baby.. In fact, every day lately I've been thinking, this will be my last birthday without a baby.. my last May 1st without a baby... last Christmas, etc, etc...

I know I've said this a lot.. but I've ALWAYS wanted to be a mom.. I don't remember exactly when it happened but it feels like all my life.

When I was little I would walk around with tupperware bowls under my shirt. My mom had my two younger brothers when I was just old enough to help.. Sometimes I would act like they were my babies.
When I was older I would write letters to my future children. I would even buy them gifts to put in my hope chest. I would pray for them and hope for them. I had names picked out from the time I was 10.. one of them is still the name I want for a girl.

 This morning was the Mother's Day service at church.. It was very emotional. I've received so many texts, comments and messages on FB and twitter about our announcement and Mother's Day wishes.. it truly warms my heart and means so much. I feel so thankful and just utter praise for the One who has answered our hearts desire.

It still doesn't feel real. I have the sonogram hanging on our refrigerator.. that and my ever changing body and hormones tells me it's true.. but I keep waiting for my bubble to burst. The DR told us on Friday that we should announce it.. even though most people say wait till 12 weeks, he said although it's not impossible, there's a small 3-5% chance of a miscarriage. The hemorrhage is almost completely dissolved. He said if he didn't know if was there, he would have completely looked over it as nothing. HALLELUJAH!!

My heart still aches for my friends without babies. I feel like I've been there for so long.. If you read this, PLEASE join me in praying for them.

So many of the comments say something about how awesome I'll be as a mom. I sure hope so. I really believe it's what I was designed for.. the only thing I've ever truly wanted to be is a mom.. Surely I was made to be a great one. :-)

So, Happy Mother's Day.. I really hope every mom feels loved and valued today and every day.